What do children need?
Above everything else children need to have a safe and secure home.
This home should be free of violence, and contain parents or caregivers that do everything they can to love and protect these children. Children require a sense of stability and routine. The home must be their safe place so they develop a sense of trust that when things feel uncomfortable in the outside world, home is a place of comfort and their sanctuary.
Infants and small children who are exposed to violence in the home experience so much added emotional stress that it can harm the development of their brains and impair cognitive and sensory growth.
James, M., Domestic
Violence as a Form of Child Abuse: Identification and Prevention’, Issues in Child Abuse Prevention, 1994.
“Jane” a 24 year old college student grew up in a home with a significant amount of violence that took place between her parents. Jane’s father was an alcoholic. He was verbally and physically abusive to her mother. At the age of 14, Jane’s mother was able to find the courage to leave the abusive situation and take the children to a shelter.
As an adult, Jane has advocated for ongoing services must be provided to adults and children that have been victims of domestic violence. Resources must be easily accessible for families to find safe housing and access to health care for the children.
Children must have a clear understanding hat domestic violence is wrong. They must be provided with the opportunity to see alternative positive adult influences and role models in order to develop with minimal stress and hope for a positive outlook toward the future.
There is a common link between domestic violence and child abuse. Among victims of child abuse, 40 per cent report domestic violence in the home. (Rodgers, K. ‘Wife assault: the findings of a national survey’. Juristat Service Bulletin, 1994, 14:1-22, cited in World Health Organization, ‘World Report on Violence and Health’, ed. by Krug, Etienne G., et al., Geneva, 2002.)
Think you for sharing about the affects of domestic violence on the children who have to witness it. I think sometimes people forget that in a family situation where a mother is the abused, that the children are also effected by the abuse. They often fell helpless, that they can't do anything to help their mother, and they end up with anger towards the father.
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